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I had one of the most disconcerting dreams.

I was standing in front of a massive trash dump.

In the dream, I was throwing all kinds of important and personal things into the trash heap, and I heard a voice behind me say "this is what it's like to spend your time on social media. It may be wonderful and beautiful things, but it's still landing in a massive landfill full of everything--treasures and trash."

If that sounds a bit dramatic--it is. But I couldn't shake the experience of that moment, for what it means for me [in my life with God, I've always experienced the Spirit challenges us personally and specifically.]

Of course, it's possible that my neurons and memories mixed a few things together that evening: I had just been pondering Jesus' enigmatic statement "Do not give to dogs what is sacred, do not throw your pearls to pigs." It might be that in my wondering about what Jesus meant, I also something my friend David Bailey of Arrrabon said to me, "social media may be you building gardens in Babylon...but it's still Babylon."

Whether it was Spirit or synapse inspired, the dream had the same effect. It made me take a big step back and ask myself, "can my soul handle the effects of social media?"

If social media is an empire (it is) and if the empire is corrupt (it is), then even if I fill my little corner of Instagram with beautiful things...it's still Babylon.

Now, this is not an indictment on you or your choices. And honestly, I've felt bound to social media not just because I love to keep up with the world, but because it's part of my ministry. It's so easy as an author and communicator to side-step the question of true impact on my own soul and just say "but it's my job."

But here's the truth about decisions: they require prioritizing. We have to decide what we value most and highest, and then make decisions from there. And if my identity in Christ is the most precious part of me, and if anything comes against that, whether in full attack or slow erosion, I must take stock of the impact and make decisions from there.

Maybe this is why Jesus said, "what good is it to gain the whole world yet forfeit your soul?" Forfeit is the operative word here. To forfeit is to stop showing up. Another way to say it, "is the world offering me something that makes me stop showing up for my own soul?"

All of us have the great and precious responsibility of guarding our souls. And there seems to be no greater attack on our ability to be present to our souls and to each other than the powerfully addicting programs that we willingly keep in our pockets and on our pillows at night. Your issue may not be social media, but how's your relationship with the news, the TV, the political podcast? At risk of sounding like an old lady, I am very concerned. And this old lady is as concerned for her own soul as for anyone else's.

This summer, I've been asking some hard questions about my own limits, things like this:

a. how often does a distraction of any kind on the phone cause me to tune out whatever's happening in front of me?

b. how much time do I find myself scrolling on my phone in order to avoid feelings--boredom, anxiety, insecurity?

c. would my closest family members say that I am often distracted when I am with them?

d. am I struggling with envy and comparison? Is that connected to the inputs of constant consumerism and "influencers" that I allow into my soul daily?

When I take a real, hard look at my choices, when I examine the impact of all of this noise on my life, I realize I need more space. So for now I'll be quiet quitting social media--stepping away for a bit. I'll be focusing my efforts here and with the podcast instead, in the hopes I can bring encouragement in a longer form while not being so ...distracted, tempted, anxious, numbed(?) by the endless scroll.

Hope we can keep meeting here, in this quieter and thoughtful space of our email. ✨

❤️Nicole

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